Pet Peeve

[kialio]

If you understood what I was trying to say you would agree with me.

Examples:
You misunderstand what I'm trying to say.
I didn't word it properly.
I chose the wrong phrasing.
My word choice was poor.
I'm not expressing myself well.

Assumed:
If you understood what I said you would undoubtedly agree with me. E.G. there is nothing wrong with my argument; the fault lies in your comprehension and/or my efforts to convey meaning. Our disagreement can only come from the fact that you are reading the "letter" instead of the "spirit."

Also known as:
Intentions.

Comments

[tekanji.livejournal.com]

What about the times when it's actually a miscommunication?

I can't speak for others but I know that when I use phrases like those it's not about the other person agreeing or not agreeing but rather when what they are saying I said is fundamentally different to what I was trying to convey. A lot of how we interpret what we say (or what's being said) is informed by our own personal context and it's not uncommon, at least in my experience, for people from two different contexts/perspectives to read the same phrase in two vastly different ways.

[yeloson.livejournal.com]

Something to consider as context: Do you think she's talking about a miscommunication or people using veiled "You're too dumb to understand" as a mask for privilege?

[kialio.livejournal.com]

Pretty much, I've been done with "I'm horrible with words" ever since someone tried to tell me 200 years of racism wasn't bad and I would understand that if he could just write better.

[tekanji.livejournal.com]

Do you think she's talking about a miscommunication or people using veiled "You're too dumb to understand" as a mask for privilege?

I know she was addressing the latter, but I was wondering if she felt that the phrases above could/should be used in the event of genuine miscommunication or not.

Context, I is Not Forgetting it Now

[kialio.livejournal.com]

This had been stewing in my mind during RF9, but following along with the Portal/Mirror discussion at Hathor Legacy is what prompted me to post.

Specifically this (http://thehathorlegacy.com/what-portal-did-and-what-mirrors-edge-didnt-do-or-the-female-as-exotic/#comment-87139) comment, wherein the OP goes on at length to state that the problem with her piece wasn't what she said, but how she said it. And especially when the OP implies that their writing is academic and that is what is causing the problem. The implication there being that those who disagree are unfamiliar with and do not understand said writing. Which, honestly, is patently ridiculous and a cheap dodge to avoid saying that his/her opinions at base were ill-founded.

From RF9 there were too many cases of this for me to keep up with, but it continually hit a nerve. Especially where people who are paid to write use this "misunderstoodness" excuse instead of examining what they are saying, not how they are saying it. There are examples galore all over Truepenny's RF9 post (http://truepenny.livejournal.com/625351.html).

This peeve is a rhetorical issue and not so much two friends tossing malaprops at each other.

[kialio.livejournal.com]

I couldn't rightly say. I love word play, and know that at one end of the spectrum some choose their words with the utmost care. And at the other end some dump them like a can of alphabet soup onto a plate. (Personally I'm meticulous when it comes to writing, but substitute "the hot grabby thing" for a pot holder in daily conversation.)

I do believe in genuine miscommunication. Anyone who's tried to put together a piece of assemble-it-yourself furniture with a close friend has run into that. It's just that in my experience I've run into very little of the "genuine" kind and a lot more of the let-me-be-an-ass type.

[tekanji.livejournal.com]

Personally I'm meticulous when it comes to writing, but substitute "the hot grabby thing" for a pot holder in daily conversation.

ROTLMAO I do the exact same thing :)

It's just that in my experience I've run into very little of the "genuine" kind and a lot more of the let-me-be-an-ass type.

I completely understand.

I guess in my case comes down to my having a rather bad case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. Even when I spend a lot of time trying to make sure I'm conveying what I want to convey, I often end up going, "Dangit! I should have said x instead of y (or x in addition to y) and now I've come across as an ass!" o.o;;;

[allburning.livejournal.com]

When someone says that to me, I'm often likely to think, "If you understood what you were really thinking, you would disagree with yourself. The reason you can't articulate it clearly is because you're not thinking about it clearly (and you probably have to keep your thinking on the subject fuzzy in order to protect yourself from realizing how messed up your opinions really are)."

I'm judgmental like that.